Being in a relationship takes a lot of work – a lot of work. Sometimes the days are easy and they fly by and without realizing it you’re stuck in a boring routine that has simply lost the spark. Putting in the time, effort, and intentional thoughts and actions will help your relationship thrive. The days we forget to do these things add up and eventually cause mass destruction.
And I’m not talking about a relationship that you have with your spouse, significant other, mom, or dog. I’m talking about the most important person you will ever be in a relationship with – yourself.
In the last months I’ve taken the time to put my whole heart back where it needed to be: my chest. Not a boyfriends or a friends. In mine. That heart that pitter patters inside of my body belongs to.. well two people really: myself and Jesus. I’ve found that once I fell back in love with who I am, I was able to share that with the people around me so much easier and so much healthier than before.
In this new year, we all need to take a little time to love on ourselves a little bit more. Here are some things we can do:
Maintain Healthy Eating Habits
Okay so I don’t eat a kale salad for lunch every day and drink protein shakes, but I do fill my body with things that are good for me and good for my soul. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Rolling Rock and Taco Bell, but I also know it’s important for me to put good things into my body.
I don’t want to use the word ‘diet’ because I find it very negative, so instead we’re saying ‘eating habits’. This is a healthy, mindful balance of what your ingesting every day. It can be whatever you want, but make sure it’s good for you. Our intake can make or break our mood for the day and why would you want to eat something crappy that’s only going to make you feel crappy? Come on, gals.
Challenge yourself to find new spaces! This could be through traveling to the tiny towns around you on the weekends or visiting places within your city that you’ve never been to. Go do those cheesy tourist traps and go drive around that historic neighborhood. Just go.
Getting outside for at least 20-30 minutes a day will improve your life, skin, hair, body – all the things! This is a great time to practice some mindfulness and think about all the things you’re accomplishing or want to accomplish. This is also a great time to completely zone out and just exist in the world.
You’ve messed up. I’ve messed up. We have all done some things that we aren’t too proud of, but it’s okay. Forgive yourself, learn from your choices, and move forward. No one said you have to beat yourself up for the things you’ve done that you regret. Take those weights off your shoulders and let them go.
Love is tender and gentle, and if we aren’t that way with ourselves then how can we expect to be that way towards others?
Maintain Meaningful Relationships
Being intentional with your healthy relationships is so important, but I cannot stress enough how challenging this actually is. Being able to sit down every week and say, “Okay, who do I need to reach out and say hello to,” is tough! I’ve really had to keep myself in check with this since moving to Florida and still wanting to maintain those few relationships back at home.
A simple, “I’m thinking of you,” goes a long way and honestly it just makes you feel really good inside knowing you’re being truly intentional with your relationships.
I am a BIG fan of keeping a journal, always have been. When I started journaling 10 years ago I had no idea the impact it would make on my life. I now have tons of notebooks filled with my thoughts, prayers, and wishes that I can look back and say, “look how far I’ve come”.
Checking-in with yourself and seeing where you’re at as far as your goals, relationships, health habits, and what-have-you is important in maintaining that self-love.
Be Conscious of Your Finances
Nothing is more stressful than money. It’s a burden we all carry, but if calculated and executed correctly, then it doesn’t have to be the big scary monster we think it is.
Keeping a budget of your bills, spending, and income can help ease the mind of troubles and keep yourself in check. I keep a fairly tight budget for myself and it’s really rewarding when I have a little extra that month to get myself something nice.
Speaking of something nice – don’t forget to love yourself with things that you… love! This could be a dinner date with yourself, a movie night, a big, beautiful bath bomb that you get to give yourself a spa night. This can be tickets to a show or game or even taking a night off and just vegging out to Disney+.
This isn’t something to do all the time, but those nights to reward yourself for all the work you put into your life every day is one of the best forms of self-care.
Allowing yourself room for change can create a huge sigh of relief. Things aren’t always going to stay the same and allowing ourselves a little bit of wiggle room when we mess up, do something right, or find a new insight can take a lot of pressure off ourselves.
Being open to new ideas and conversations can lead to new friendships and realizations that we never knew we could have.
I really hope you take some time in the new year to love yourself more than you ever have before. Take a step back from all your relationships and be intentional with yourself. Take a moment to breathe and focus on your heart and I promise it will be so much easier to walk back through the doors of your relationships – or close them forever. The choice is yours.